3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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