She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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