Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
