The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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