I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
