Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
But we have bathrooms and they dont
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
