Can Purell be used as lube?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
