i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
