u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
