Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
