Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
