Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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