i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
