I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
