But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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