if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
