why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
