I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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