Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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