Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
