I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
