are you so shy because you have an std?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize