I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
