We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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