You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
