I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Are we still banned from the library?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize