Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
