those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I want her autograph on my taint
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
