I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
