that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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