hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
