Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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