Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize