Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
