i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
