Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
