Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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