your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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