I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
