Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
