haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
soo... how was my night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
