I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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