I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
