it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
