dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
