My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
