I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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