I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize