How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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