She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
