i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
