wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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