I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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