Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
