at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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