Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize