smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
