Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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