apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
