What a fucking waste of an outfit
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.