It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat