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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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