Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
