Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?