FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
