it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
